SONG DEMOS
(c) 2019, Ira Marlowe/Slow Reveal Music (BMI)
These are initial recordings performed by the writer using only MIDI instruments. This allows for easy adjustment of the songs' keys before creating more polished backing tracks.
ACT ONE
COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY
(COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY)
YOU’RE GETTING A PEEK AHEAD
IT’S A HUSH-HUSH SITUATION
DEEP STATE INFORMATION
OFF LIMITS TO THE LOUSY LIKES OF YOU
BUT YOU PAID FOR A TICKET SO WE’RE LETTIN’ YA THROUGH
COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY(COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY)
REALLY A BREED APART
ALL THE HISTORY OF HUMAN KIND
LOST IN MYSTERY, STUMBLING BLIND
NOW A CHANCE TO GLANCE BENEATH THE HOOD
BETTER BUTTON YOUR LIP IF YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD!
YOU DON’T KNOW TOM, DICK OR HARRY
‘BOUT THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY
SERIES OF EVENTS THAT FOLLOW GIVING UP THE GHOST
YOU’VE HEARD LIES AND DISTORTIONS
OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS
NOW SIT BACK IN YOUR SEATS AND GROW ENGROSSED!
GROW ENGROSSED!
COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY
(COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY)
BUT MAYBE NOT ALL THAT MUCH
ONCE YOU’VE SEEN, YOU CAN’T UNSEE IT
YOU’LL REGRET IT, WE GUARANTEE IT
KNOWING WHAT THE REAPER HAS IN STORE
JUST A STEP BEYOND THE CREAKY DOOR
STAY TUNED FOR MORE!
FOR MORE!
FOR MORE!
THIS IS SO NOT COOL
JUST TELL ME WHAT I’VE DONE
STUCK HERE IN THIS WEIRD BLUE PLACE
WITH A VOICE THAT KEEPS SAYING “STAGE ONE”
OVER AND OVER, AGAIN AND AGAIN,
IT’S ANNOYING AS HELL
LAST THING I REMEMBER,
I’D JUST GOTTEN TAKE-OUT FROM TACO BELL
LAST THING I REMEMBER I WAS STANDING ON THE CORNER
OF 17TH AND THIRD
I WAS THINKIN’ ‘BOUT MY GUY
HOW I ASKED HIM FOR HIS LOVE AND HE GAVE ME HIS WORD
BUT LIFE’S SO STRANGE
HOW QUICK THINGS CHANGE
I FORGOT MY LOSER’S LUCK
NOW WHAT CAN I DO?
EVERYTHING’S NEW
EVERYTHING’S BLUE!
WHAT THE FUCK?
KATIE
I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF
BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED
I WAS UP THERE, UP THERE LOOKING DOWN,
BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED
IF YOU COULD ONLY SEE, SEE HOW HARD I'VE TRIED, MAYBE YOU'D GET IT
THIS CRUEL AND STUPID PLACE THAT WANTS TO WIPE YOU OFF ITS FACE
SO WHY NOT LET IT?
SIXTEEN STORIES HIGH
LOOKING AT THE CITY UNDERNEATH ME
I CLIMBED ACROSS THE RAIL
TO SAY GOODBYE AND LET THIS WORLD RELEASE ME
THEN I HEARD A VOICE,
THEN I HEARD A VOICE
ON HIGH...
BRYCE
Please don’t say it was an angel.
KATIE
No. It was this homeless guy.
CALLING FROM THE BALCONY ABOVE
HE SAID, “EVERYTHING IS REALLY MADE OF LOVE
WE CAN'T SEE IT
BUT I THINK I'M GETTIN' CLOSE
ALL THAT YOU CAN TASTE AND TOUCH AND FEEL
IT'S JUST A TINY PART OF ALL THAT'S REAL
YOU CAN'T SEE IT
IT'S LIKE LOOKING THROUGH A GHOST
IT ALL JUST SHINES FROM THE UNIVERSAL MIND
TWELVE OR MORE DIMENSIONS, NOT TO EVEN MENTION TIME
ENERGY IS NOTHING MORE THAN SPIRIT”
THEN HE SAID SOME OTHER STUFF THAT WASN'T SO COHERENT
I TOOK THE STAIRS DOWN, HE WAS WAITING FOR ME
I TRIED TO THANK HIM, AND OFFERED HIM A TWENTY
HE JUST SHOOK HIS HEAD AND BACKED AWAY
HE SAID, "MEET ME TOMORROW AT THE ARTEMIS CAFE!
MEET ME TOMORROW AT THE ARTEMIS CAFE!
I'VE GOT THIS THING! I'VE GOT THIS THING! I'VE GOT THIS THING!"
THEN HE RAN AWAY
BRYCE
Don't tell me you went to meet him!
KATIE
HE NEVER SAID WHAT TIME, HE WASN'T THERE,
NOT THE NEXT DAY NOR THE
NEXT, I ASKED AROUND, BY NOW I WAS TOTALLY
OBSESSED, TO HAVE SOME GUY FALL FROM THE SKY,
SAVE MY LIFE AND DISAPPEAR
THEN I TALKED TO A COP...
BRYCE
And the cop said he was here.
IT’S THE START OF SOMETHING NEW
SO PUT AWAY THAT FACE
THERE WAS NOTHING YOU COULD DO
NO ONE LEFT IT UP TO YOU
A CHILD WAS BORN TO TAKE YOUR PLACE
THE WORLD YOU LEFT WAS A B-GRADE JOKE
CHEAP AND POORLY MADE
WHEN GOD WAS JUST A WANNABE
THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF ETERNITY
BE GLAD YOU GOT AWAY...
TO BLUE BLUE HEAVEN
SO LOVELY YOU’RE HERE
EVERYTHINGS’S FINE
EVERYTHING’S CLEAR
WE KNOW THAT IT’S TRUE
YOU’LL LOVE WHAT WE DO
IN BLUE, BLUE HEAVEN
IT’S SO SORRY AND CONFUSED
THAT PLACE YOU USED TO DWELL
YOU CAN’T THROW IN ALL THOSE SHADES
ALL THOSE COLORS IN ONE PLACE
AND THINK IT MIGHT GO WELL
GOD HAS LOST ALL INTEREST THERE
ANYONE CAN TELL
A BRAVE EXPERIMENT I GUESS
BUT WHAT A MONUMENTAL MESS
WELCOME OUT OF HELL
TO BLUE, BLUE HEAVEN
YOU FORTUNATE SOUL
EVERYTHING’S PURE, EVERYTHING’S WHOLE
AND YOU’LL LOVE THE VIEW
YOU’LL LOVE WHAT WE DO
IN BLUE, BLUE HEAVEN
IN BLUE, BLUE HEAVEN
COPS
SO YOU THINK YOU'RE PUNK, PUNK?
OR A TOUGH GUY?
WE'RE AUTHORIZED TO TREAT YOU NICE AND ROUGH, GUY.
YOU GOT SOME GUFF, GUY?
RALPHIE
No.
AHMET
Didn’t think so.
COPS
YOU SEEM A BIT PERPLEXED
SO HERE’S WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
WE'LL DO SOME ODD THINGS
SOME OH-MY-GOD THINGS
WHILE THROWING IN A FEW MARQUIS DE SADE THINGS
DO YOU LIKE TO FEEL THE TICKLE OF A MACE ON YOUR FACE?
OR REMOVAL OF SOME ORGANS ONLY GRUDGINGLY REPLACED?
WE'RE HERE TO SHOW YOU HOW IT'S GONNA BE
ONCE YOU CROSS OVER:
BEND OVER, ROVER!
WE'RE THE WORST OF THE WORST
AND WE'RE CURSED
TO REMAIN AND PAY OUR DEBT
TIL WE GET
TO GO BACK TO THE SPECTRUM, THE UNIVERSE'S RECTUM
AN OVERACTIVE ORIFICE OF MORE OF THAT AND MORE OF THIS
THE SHITHOLE YOU COME FROM...!
LEE
So what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?
RALPHIE
I dunno. I was a halfway decent guy.
AHMET
Don’t be shy.
CHARLEY
We’ll identify.
GODARD
Give us a try...
COPS
WERE YOU A DOG KICKER?
OR A DOORKNOB LICKER?
A FRATBOY BUGGER?
OR A COMMON MUGGER?
(WITH A LOUSIVILLE SLUGGER)
EVER BEAT UP WINOS?
OR TEASE ALBINOS?
OR MAYBE KNOCK UP NUNS?
WHAT'S THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE?
RALPHIE
This is a trick.
LEE
This guy’s quick.
COPS
LET’S DO SOME COOL STUFF
SOME POWER TOOL STUFF
AND MAYBE THEN A LITTLE ISTANBUL STUFF
GODARD
IT’S ALL WHAT YOU GET
WHEN YOU KICK ZE BUCK-ET
COPS
AND YOU’LL BE BEGGING AND PLEADING
AND SCREAMING AND CRYING
AND DREAMING OF THE MIRACLE OF DYING
RALPHIE
W-wait! And I dead or not?!?
COPS
WE'RE THE WORST
OF THE WORST
AND WE'RE CURSED
TO STAY AND WORK AS COPS
TILL IT STOPS
AND WE GET TO BE REBORN AGAIN
AND MAKE SADISTIC PORN AGAIN
WHILE LIGAMENTS ARE TORN AGAIN
AND VICTIM’S FAMILIES MOURN AGAIN
BUT FOR THE MOMENT THIS WILL HAVE TO DO:
LEE
We get to torture you...
PEARL
THERE ARE DOORS AND THERE ARE WINDOWS
THERE ARE SHADES AND THERE ARE BLINDS
THERE ARE ROOMS AND ROOMS
AND ROOMS WITHIN ROOMS
IN THE MANSIONS OF THE MIND
MOLECULES, GALAXIES
VOICES IN THE DISTANCE
IMAGINATION, ALL CREATION,
DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?
THE UNSEEN WORLD
ARE YOU READY FOR THE UNSEEN WORLD?
SIGHT AND SMELL AND TASTE AND TOUCH AND SOUND
JUST A TINY PART
OF THE CRAZY-ASS SHIT THAT’S FLOATIN’ AROUND
KATIE
Are you a shaman?
BRYCE
Do you have training of some kind?
PEARL
DON’T CALL ME A SHAMAN, DON’T CALL ME A GURU
DON’T CALL ME A SAINT
I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM
SO HOW ‘BOUT A FEW MORE THINGS I AIN’T
I AIN’T DRIVIN’ NO MORE BUSES
I AIN’T PUNCHIN’ NO MORE CLOCKS
I AIN’T HAVIN’ NO MORE BOSSES
TALK LIKE DOGS AND SMELL LIKE GYM SOCKS
THERE’S A PALACE WITH A MILLION FLOORS
YOUNG LADY, DON’T BLAME ME
IF IT FREAKS YOU OUT YOUR DRAWERS!
THE UNSEEN WORLD
YOU’LL BE TRIPPIN ON THE UNSEEN WORLD
THAT E-VENT HORIZON
SHIT THAT NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON NEVER DREAMED
IT’S PARTICLES AND WAVES
AND VOICES OUTTA GRAVES
IT’S BEYOND WHAT YOU CAN GRASP
IT’LL KICK YOUR SKINNY ASS OR SET YOU FREE
KATIE
I think I’m ready.
PEARL
FOR THE PLAINS OF SERENGETI?
BRYCE
Will she be okay?
PEARL
IT ISN’T OURS TO SAY
HOLD STEADY!
YOU’LL BE CURLED AND TWIRLED AND CHOCOLATE SWIRLED
SUPERSIZED AND MAGNETIZED
WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND OPEN UP A BIG SURPRISE
THE UNSEEN WORLD
PEARL
THERE ARE CRACKS
IN THIS WORLD
AND THEY SAY
THAT’S HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN
BUT THE CRACKS
HAVE GROWN WIDER
WHILE THE LIGHT
GROWS DIM
BRYCE
EVERYBODY’S ON EDGE THESE DAYS
EVERYBODY CAN FEEL IT
BUT LOOK AT HER THERE
SLUMPED IN A CHAIR
THIS IS THE MIGHTY GIRL
WHO'S S'POSED TO HEAL IT?
LOOK WHAT YOU DID
TO A LOST LITTLE KID
ARE YOU ONLY A DANGEROUS FRAUD?
DO THE STARS REVEAL IT?
PEARL
YOU CAN TALK
FROM YOUR MOUTH
WHILE YOUR SPIRIT IS CRYING
I CAN HEAR IT IN YOUR VOICE
THERE'S A SECRET YOU’RE HIDING
BRYCE
HERE’S WHAT I’M HIDING
A NUMBER I’M DIALING
JUST THREE DIGITS AND THEY’RE SO BEGUILING
THIS TIME THERE’LL BE NO FINE
YOU’LL JUST BE DOING TIME
WHEN THEY SEE HOW YOU GET YOUR KICKS
PEARL
"9-1-1 and black people do not mix!"
DID YOU BEG
AT MY DOOR?
DID YOU PLEAD FOR MY SERVICE?
DID I EVEN VALIDATE YOUR CARD?
I DID NOT!
AND NOW YOU GONNA CALL THE COPS?
BRYCE
I AM UNDER TERRIBLE STRESS
I’M DEALING WITH PRESSURE, I’M DEALING WITH DEATH
AND SOMETHING ELSE NO MORTAL MAN SHOULD HAVE TO BEAR
I’VE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH AND THEN A LOVER TO INTER
SO SAY SOME MAGIC WORDS
AND MAKE THINGS LIKE THEY WERE!
PEARL
WE ARE SWIMMING
IN THE DEEP END OF THE POOL
SO IT WOULD HELP IF YOU COULD PLEASE SIT DOWN
AND STOP FLAILIN’ AROUND LIKE A GODDAMN FOOL!
DID YOU SOMEHOW MISS THE MEMO?
FIND A WAY TO MISCONSTRUE IT?
THIS IS TRICKY!
THIS IS RISKY!
THIS IS WHY--
BRYCE
THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO IT???
YOU HAD JUST ONE JOB !
FIND THAT LADY PEARL AND GET IT BACK!
YOU HAD JUST ONE JOB!
HOW CAN ANYBODY BE SO SLACK?
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW BUMMED I AM, HOW BUMMED I AM RIGHT NOW
I KEEP SLIPPIN’ AROUND, SLIPPIN’ AROUND, SLIPPIN AROUND!
THE UNIVERSE IS SYSTEMS, MAN
ALL THESE FREAKY SYSTEMS INTERMINGLED!
BUT LATELY, AT THESE RANDOM TIMES
MY THROAT GETS TIGHT, MY EAR LOBES START TO TINGLE
EVERY THING GETS SHAKY
THERE’S NO LEFT OR RIGHT OR UP OR DOWN
I START SLIPPIN’ AROUND, SLIPPIN’ AROUND, SLIPPIN AROUND!
SEE OUR BRAINS ARE LIKE RADIOS, DON’T YOU GET IT?
WE PICK UP SIGNALS FROM THE COSMIC MIND
MOST FOLKS ARE TUNED TO JUST ONE BORING STATION ALL THE TIME!
BUT YOU AND ME ARE DIFFERENT, MAN!
WE’RE THE ONES WHO WALK OUT ON THE LEDGE
THEN WE FIRE A GREAT BIG DOOBIE AND SNORT SOME POPPERS
LACED WITH LEMON PLEDGE!
IT’S HOW WE SEE NEW COLORS, GLOWIN’ IN THE BLACKLIGHT
BUT WHEN YOU BLOW YOUR MIND
IT DOESN’T ALWAYS GO BACK RIGHT!!!
I’M SLIPPIN’ AROUND, SLIPPIN’ AROUND, SLIPPIN AROUND, SLIPPIN’ AROUND--
ACT TWO
HEY, THERE WATCHERS!
HEY, THERE WATCHERS!
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS NOW
THROBBING LIGHTS AND MUSIC FLASHING
TEETH ARE SWEATY, PALMS ARE GNASHING
EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW WAS WRONG
YOU SHOULD KNOW NOT TO GO
WHERE YOU DON’T
BELONG!
HEY THERE, WATCHERS!
HEY THERE WATCHERS!
LOOK WHAT HAPPENS HERE
WATCH YOUR SCIENCE QUICKLY VANISH
SO ADVANCED YET SO CAVEMANISH
MANKIND DRAGGED BEHIND BY THE HAIR
DON’T SCAPE YOUR ASS ON THE GROUND DOWN THERE!
(THERE, THERE)
NO, IT’S NOT REALLY CORDIAL
WHEN WE’RE CALLING YOU PRIMORDIAL
BUT YOUR ENDLESS SPATE
OF ANTIQUATED HOKUM MAKES US GROAN
WITH ITS ONGOING SERIES
OF KINDERGARTEN THEORIES
YOUR TESTAMENT TO EXCREMENT OF WHICH NO JACK IS KNOWN
HEY THERE, WATCHERS!
KEEP ON WATCHING!
WE’LL BE WATCHING, TOO
STICK AROUND TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS
TIGHTEN UP YOUR THINKING CAP AN’
STRUGGLE TO UNRAVEL WHAT IS REAL
BUT NO REFUNDS IF YOU JUST CAN’T DEAL
ALL SHALL BE
REVEALED
SCHRODINGER’S CAT
JUMPED IN MY LAP
I TICKLED HIM UNDER HIS CHIN AND SAID
“YOU MADE IT BACK!”
BACK FROM THAT BOX WHERE THAT MAN HAD YOU LOCKED
HE WAS TRYING TO SEE...
TO TELL YOU TRUTH, I’M NOT EVEN SURE
BUT I SURE BET YOU’RE HUNGRY
SCHRODINGER’S CAT
I PICTURE HIM BLACK
LIVING AND DEAD AT THE VERY SAME TIME
IMAGINE THAT
I’D LIVED WITH TWENTY-TWO FAMILIES
BY THE AGE OF THIRTEEN
SISTERS AND BROTHERS AND BROTHERS AND SISTERS
ALL NOTHING LIKE ME
IS THERE SOMEONE LIKE ME?
MOTHER?
I WOULD HEAR YOUR VOICE AT NIGHT
SAYING YOU WERE COMING
AN’ IT’LL BE ALRIGHT
MOTHER?
I’D PRETEND THAT YOU WERE THERE
I’D JUMP IN YOUR LAP
YOU’D SING ME SONGS AND BRUSH MY HAIR
THEN THE DOOR WOULD OPEN
AND THEY’D ASK WHO I WAS TALKING TO
“NO ONE”
IT WAS ALWAYS TRUE
BRYCE
RALPH WAS VERY SWEET AND FRANKLY VERY HOT
BUT HE WAS NOT MY EQUAL
(I KNOW IT SOUNDS AWFUL)
I WAS TRAINED AT JULLIARD AND OBERLIN
AND RALPH WAS RATHER DIM
BUT AN ASS LIKE THE ASS ON HIM
SHOULD NOT BE LAWFUL
STILL PASSION ONLY GOES SO FAR AND I BEGAN TO DRIFT AWAY
INTO THE ARMS OF DRAKE MULDOON
ERUDITE FIRST CHAIR BASSOON
EACH TIME HE QUOTED PROUST I’D SWOON
I SHARED HIS TASTE IN WINE AND LOVE OF LIT!
PEARL
You two-timin’ bastard.
BRYCE
I FEEL LIKE SHIT...
FOR RALPH HAD SOMETHING LIKE NO OTHER LOVER
A GIFT MERE EDUCATION CANNOT BRING
A QUALITY OF WHICH THE ANGELS SING
PEARL
Must be some ass...
BRYCE
GOODNESS
JUST GOODNESS
A GOLDEN RAY OF SPIRIT
A HEART THAT’S WARM AND KIND
THERE IS MUSIC IN THE SPHERES IF YOU CAN HEAR IT
AND THERE IS LOVE...
IF YOU CAN FEEL IT WHEN IT SHINES
PEARL
So you were having this affair... and you think Ralphie knew.
BRYCE
GOODNESS
PEARL
So he jumped in front of that car.
BRYCE
JUST GOODNESS...
PEARL
Such a good man, but you took your johnson uptown.
BRYCE
A CHILDLIKE SENSE OF TRUST
PEARL
Ralphie prob’ly be writing you songs, buyin’ you flowers...
BRYCE
SO EASILY DECEIVED
PEARL
Meanwhile, you rootin’ and tootin’ on that big ol’ bassoon...
BRYCE
INNOCENCE BETRAYED BY EMPTY LUST
PEARL
...tonguin’ that reed every chance you got...
BRYCE
Stop! Enough! You are so cruel!
PEARL
Only to be kind. Take a look what just happened.
BRETT
MY LINGHAM SINGS TO YOUR YONI
OH, HOW IT PRINGLES WITH PURPLE DELIGHT
BRETT AND CHAD
HERE IN THE VORTEX OF ALL THAT IS GOOD
WE’LL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A PURPLE GIRL SHOULD
YOU’RE A PURPLE GIRL NOW!
KATIE
Halo, can you please explain to our friends that this isn’t a good time for us to be doing this--
BRETT
PURPLE GIRL
HALO
It is good, Katie. It’s all good, Katie.
BRETT
MY SPIRIT CALLS TO YOUR YONI
SEE IN MY EYES HOW IT RISES TO THEE
BRETT AND CHAD
OPEN THE FOLDS OF YOUR INNERMOST TRUTH
SO WARM AND SO MOIST WITH THE TREASURES OF YOUTH
SO FRAGRANT, SO FRESH AND SO NEW!
BRETT
NO DENYING FACTS, THE CYCLOPS IN MY SLACKS
HAS GOT HIS EYE ON ...
YOU!
KATIE
Did you just say what I think you said?
BRETT
YOU’RE A PURPLE GIRL NOW
KATIE
I’m not comfortable with this.
HALO
Hey! Breezy and easy!
BRETT
PURPLE GIRL!
HALO
Just go with flow of the I-don’t-know.
SHIRLEY
DAY-GLOW’S GOOD AT RHYMING...
Chad cups Shirley’s breasts from behind.
KATIE
(to Shirley)
Why do you put up with this?
HALO
Katie, take a chill pill. Just chill, chill, chill.
KATIE
No! I will not chill!
BRETT AND CHAD
She’s a little shrill!
KATIE
What???
BRETT
YOU’RE A PURPLE GIRL NOW!
SHIRLEY
HIS LINGAM RISES!
HIS GRISTLE SINGS!
As the music blares, Brett chases Katie around the stage--part dance, part deft avoidance.
KATIE
Halo! Please, why don’t we --
BRETT
YOU’RE A PURPLE GIRL NOW!
KATIE
Let’s just go someplace else...
BRETT
LET’S JOIN IN LOVE!
Brett and Chad begin to disrobe.
HALO
Wow! This place is awesome..
.
Halo, begins to take off his shirt.
CHAD
Day-glow. Please... Don’t do that.
HALO
What?
CHAD
(pointing offstage)
There’s a fellowship meeting just over there. Go and meet some new people. Take some Jell-O. And Shirley made muffins, too.
HALO
I don’t see why you’re cuttin’ me out, man.
KATIE
(pulling away)
Look, we really need to find our friend. It’s urgent.
HALO
Yeah! Damn right! We gotta find her.
BRETT
What friend?
SHIRLEY
Why would she be here?
CHAD
Is she hot?
BRETT
And why would we even know her?
KATIE
It’s a guy. Named Ralph Molinari.
HALO
Ralph???
KATIE
Nice looking? Motorcycle jacket?
HALO
Who the fuck is Ralph!?!?
CHAD
Mellow, my friend!
HALO
We need Pearl! And I need that goddam box!
Brett raises his hand snaps music off. Awkward silence.
CHAD
(cloying)
Please. Mellow like Jello. Do you people know that Brett is also... drumroll, Shirley...
(Shirley recreates a drum roll on her out-of-tune guitar.)
...an alchemist! He can turn anything into gold. Show them, Brett.
GODARD AND LEE
LISTEN UP, LISTEN UP
MAYBE DO A LITTLE KISSIN’ UP
SORRY DEAR, THERE'S NO ONE HERE TO HELP YOU
LISTEN UP, YOUR GOOSE IS COOKED
YOUR TICKET TO NOWHERE’S ALREADY BOOKED
SO LET’S TAKE THIS FOR A RIDE LIKE THE ONE YOU JUST TOOK!
LEE
TELL US HOW TO USE THE BOX, TUTI-FRUITI
GODARD
FLY BOY!
LEE
YOU’VE CAUGHT US IN BARGAINING MOOD
GODARD
ARE YOU PURELY GIRLY-GIRLY? OR MORE OF A BI-BOY?
LEE
FORGIVE MY FRIEND, BUT YES, HE INTENDS TO BE RUDE
GODARD
SEE, WE’RE LOOKING FOR A CHANGE OF SCENE
LEE
WE CHAFE BENEATH RESTRICTIONS
GODARD
AND WE’D LIKE TO LEAVE
LEE
USING YOUR MACHINE
GODARD
INDULGE OUR PREDiLECTIONS
GODARD AND LEE
SO LISTEN UP
LISTEN UP
BABY, THERE’S NO PRISON UP
HERE
YOU GET DUMPED IN A PUMP
AND IT HUMS TIL YOUR SPIRIT RUNS CLEAR
LEE
Are you scared?
PEARL
What’s this pump?
GODARD
No one is talking to you, -- illegal merde!
PEARL
Say what...?
LEE
LIVING FLESHY PULP IS NOT ALLOWED IN THE BLUE
YET LOOK AT YOU TWO
LOOK AT YOU TWO
OOH, THE THINGS THAT I COULD DO
GODARD
MY FRIEND MR. LEE IS A SADIST
BUT I’M JUST A VERY CRUEL GUY
WHICH OF YOU TWO IS AFRAIDEST?
WHO WANTS TO GIVE US A TRY?
GODARD AND LEE
WHICH OF YOU WISHES TO KNOW WHO’S MORE VICIOUS...
GODARD
I AM MORE SKILLED
LEE
BUT I’M MORE AMBITIOUS...
GODARD
I FIND YOU DISGUSTING
LEE
I FIND YOU DELICIOUS
GODARD
ONE OF HIS FAVORITE DISHES
GODARD AND LEE
SO LISTEN UP, LISTEN UP
LET’S START THIS MISSION UP
GET THIS GADGET IN THE AIR
AND WE WON’T TOUCH A HAIR
GODARD
Let’s go, fly boy!
PEARL
There’s somethin’ y’all need to understand.
IF YOU COULD JUST CHILL WITH THAT
SEE, I’M A LITTLE SCARED, BEING “ILLEGAL MERDE”?
WHILE BLACK?
Could you please not put your ray gun to my head?
LEE
Show a little deference.
PEARL
Uh, that was a David Bowie reference.
GODARD
LET’S ZAP EM BOTH NOW, ZAP EM BOTH NOW
TURN THEIR HEADS TO LIQUID!
PEARL
YOU CAN DO THAT AND NEVER GET BACK
OR I CAN TELL YOU A SECRET:
WE CAN’T HIT THE ROAD TIL WE GET THE LAST CODE
YOU KNEW FOR SURE THERE’D BE SECURITY
INPUT REQUESTED TO TEST THE CREDENTIALS
FOR INTER-DIMENGODNAL FLIGHT
GET IT RIGHT, WE’RE IN SAN FRANCISCO TONIGHT
YOU’RE ON THE STREET, YOU HUNT FOR MEAT
BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THE CODE IS INCOMPLETE
SEE WE NEED THE REST OF OUR TEAM
AND I’M FAIRLY KEEN YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN
SHE’S PROB’LY LOCKED IN A BOX SURROUNDED BY COPS
BUT SET HER FREE AND WE CAN FLY, BOYS
LET’S FLY, BOYS
DEVELOPERS
TO ORCHESTRATE A PERFECT WORLD
TAKES ACUMEN
AND EXPERTISE
AND DEMOGRAPHIC RESEARCH
TO BUILD A TRUE UTOPIAN REALM
TAKES VISION
AND MISSION STATEMENTS
AND SUCH A GIFTED LEADER AT THE HELM
GOD LIVES IN THE BLUE
THE HOLIEST OF PLACES
AND WE ALL SEE GOD
ON A FAIRLY REGULAR BASIS
BUT GOD CAN SEE US TOO
AND SEE RIGHT THROUGH A SOUL WORTH SAVING
GOD KNOWS WHAT WE’RE CRAVING:
NONSTOP ACTION! ACROBATS IN TRACTION!
VICARS GETTING RANDY! STEALING BABIES’ CANDY!
THIEVERY AND TREACHERY AND LARCENY AND LECHERY
THE KNAVERY WE GET TO SEE
WILL BLESS US TO THE NTH DEGREE
THOU SHALL NOT KILL
SO WE WON’T
NO WE DON’T
BUT WE STILL
GET TO GET OUR FILL!
COPS
SMASHING! THRASHING! TORTURE! TRAUMA!
IF YOU GOT NO CONFLICT, YOU’VE GOT NO DRAMA
IF YOU GOT NO DRAMA, YOU GOT NO VIEWERS
DEVELOPERS
BUT WE KNOW WHO
TO SEND TO THE SEWERS
COPS
THE WORST OF US
THE MOST ACCURSED OF US
GO BACK TO THE MULTICOLORED HELL BELOW
DEVELOPERS
WHAT A THRILL TO SEE THEIR VILLAINY
THEY SURE PUT ON A SHOW
ALL
GOD LIVES IN THE BLUE
THIS PRECIOUS PLOT OF REALTY
GOD LIVES IN THE BLUE
LET US SHOW OUR FEALTY
DEVELOPERS
THIS IS A CRISIS
(CHRIST, IT’S A CRISIS!)
AN EXISTENTIAL THREAT TO ALL WE KNOW
WE HAVE HAD PEACE HERE
(FOR MILLENIA AT LEAST HERE!)
BY MOVING ALL OUR TROUBLE DOWN BELOW
AND NOW THEY’RE SNEAKING IN?
SOMEHOW LEAKING IN?
DEIRDRE
Is it true what they said?
RATHBONE
They’re not even dead.
COPS
THERE’S A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO COME HERE
THERE ARE LAWS THAT GOVERN OUR LAND
IT IS CLEARLY WRITTEN
THE BIG ONE MUST BE BITTEN
A PALE HORSE MUST BE RIDDEN
YOU CAN’T TRY THE FARM BEFORE YOU BUY THE FARM
IT’S FORBIDDEN!
DEVELOPERS
THERE’S A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO DO THIS!
THERE ARE RULES ONLY FOOLS DISREGARD
AND THERE’S NOTHING MORE REPULSIVE THAN A PULSE
MORE DISGUSTING THAN A GUST OF AIR
FROM A MOUTH RIGHT THERE
GODARD
IF YOU CAN FOG A MIRROR
YOU CANNOT COME HERE
MON FRERE!
ALL
THEY CLEARLY GET PUMP
THEY CLEARLY GET THE PUMP
PUMP OUT ALL THE PRANA, PUMP OUT ALL THE CHI
EVERY BIT OF LIFE FORCE AND VITAL ENERGY
NOTHING HERE TO SEE
NO ONE IN THE BLUE, RED, GREEN, YELLOW
INDIGO OR PURPLE WILL RECALL
BECKER
We forgot orange...
OTHERS
THEY EVER LIVED AT ALL!
ALL THEIR VANITY
THE INSANITY
OF THINKING THAT A THING THE DO COULD MATTER
THAT THEY EVER KISSED A BOY
OR RODE A BIKE
OR WROTE A “POYM”
OR HAD THEIR COMMENT LIKED ON FACEBOOK
WITHOUT A TRACEBOOK IS WHAT THEY’LL GET!
WHATEVER IT IS
THAT MAKES EACH OF US EACH OF US
AFTER THE PUMP IT’S JUST GONE
NOT A MEMORY, NOT A PHOTOGRAPH, NOT A SONG
THERE’S A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO COME HERE!
MOTHER?
ARE YOU HERE IN THE LAND OF THE DEAD?
ARE YOU WATCHING WHAT THEY’RE WATCHING
ARE YOU STARING STRAIGHT AHEAD?
MOTHER?
DID YOU KNOW HOW I HATED YOU?
FOR LETTING ME GO
NEVER WANTING TO KNOW
WHERE I WENT, OR WHO I WAS,
HOW I GREW, WHAT I LOVED
I USED TO THINK THAT GOD WAS LIKE A PARENT
THE ONE I ALWAYS PRAYED I’D FIND
TO CATCH ME WHEN I STUMBLED
HOLD ME WHILE I CRUMBLED
THROW ME A LINE
STAND THERE ABOVE ME
LOVE ME
LOVE ME
BUT THIS IS ALL WE GET
THIS IS ALL THERE IS
ALL THIS ENDLESS SPACE
WHERE WE’RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE
MOLECULES THAT GO ABOUT THEIR BUSINESS
AN ACCIDENT... WE CHANCED TO WITNESS
MOTHER?
YOU KNOW YOU’RE WITH ME EVEN NOW
I IMAGINE YOUR FACE
YOUR SAD, SWEET EYES, YOUR GENTLE MOUTH
MOTHER?
I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING YOUR HEAD
THERE WAS NEVER ANYTHING LIKE LOVE
JUST A PRETTY LIE WE ALL MADE UP
AND THIS IS ALL THERE IS
AND THIS IS ALL WE GET
ALL WE GET ARE STORIES
TO LET OURSELVES FORGET
AND MOTHER, I KNOW WHY
YOU DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW ME
YOU DID IT OUT OF KINDNESS
YOU WERE ONLY TRYING TO SHOW ME
NOT TO WANT TOO MUCH NOT TO REACH FOR YOUR TOUCH
THIS IS ALL WE GET
THIS IS ALL WE GET
IN YOUR LIFE
DID YOU EVER SEE
A MIRACLE?
IMPOSSIBLE
‘CEPT IT’S TRUE
CUZ IT HAPPENED TO YOU
AND IT CHANGED YOU
AND IT SAVED YOU
IN YOUR LIFE
WERE YOU JUST WALKIN’ AROUND?
LOOKIN’ DOWN
NOTHIN’ TO BE FOUND
AND THEN ONE DAY
IN SOME STRANGE WAY
IT HAPPENS
CUZ IT HAPPENS
I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE
SOMEBODY LIKE THAT
LOOK AT SOMEONE LIKE ME
AND SAY, “HEY, YOU’RE NOT A FREAK
YOU’RE NOT SOME SORRY LITTLE QUEER
“NO, WHAT WE HAVE HERE...”
HE SAID, “WHAT WE HAVE HERE
IS A MIRACLE
A MIRACLE, A MIRACLE”
IN MY LIFE
THIS CHURCH I USED TO GO
IT SAID, “GOD IS LOVE”
WRITTEN IN STONE
AND I KNOW THIS LOVE
ENDED BADLY
BUT WHEN I SEE MY LORD
I WILL WALK IN PROUDLY
I WILL FALL ON MY KNEES
AND SAY PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE
MAY I THANK YOU?
MAY I THANK YOU?
FOR A MIRACLE
A MIRACLE
A MIRACLE
I GUESS I DID OKAY...
MY LIFE IN ROCK AND ROLL
THEY SAY YOU GOTTA PAY YOUR DUES
THEY SAY YOU GOTTA SELL YOUR SOUL
BUT NEVER SOLD OUT
I STUCK TO MY GUNS
I NEVER GOT A RECORD DEAL
BUT THEY USUALLY SUCK, ANYWAY...
YEAH, WE GOT A BAND TOGETHER
AND I LEARNED A FEW LICKS
SOON WE HAD OUR IMAGE DOWN
AND WE PLAYED A FEW GIGS
AND IF NOBODY CAME
WELL, THEY JUST DIDN’T GET IT
BUT I WAS IN FOR THE LONG HAUL
THE OTHERS WENT TO COLLEGE...
BUT THE THINGS THAT I LEARNED
I WOULDN’T TRADE FOR NUTHIN'
AND THE STRIPES THAT I EARNED
GOT ME THAT GIG AT GUITAR CENTER
AND IF I DIED YOUNG
I’M STILL A SURVIVOR
CUT DOWN IN MY PRIME
BY A SPACED OUT UBER DRIVER
BUT ROCK AND ROLL
IS HEAR TO STAY
AND IF YOU WANT MY FINAL WORDS I’LL SAY…
CHUGGA CHUGGA HEY! CHUGGA CHUGGA HEY!
CHUGGA CHUGGA HEY! CHUGGA CHUGGA HEY!
CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA
CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA
CHUGGA CHUGGA HEY! CHUGGA CHUGGA HEY!
CHUGGA CHUGGA HEY! CHUGGA CHUGGA HEY!
GOD
I DO NOT RUN A NANNY STATE, LOVE
AND THAT IS HOW I SHOW MY GREAT LOVE
YOU ALONE CONTROL YOUR FATE, LOVE
IF I MAY ARTICULATE, LOVE:
I DON’T CARE
WHAT MADE YOU THINK I’D BE SO NAMBY PAMBY?
GODZILLA DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN FOR BAMBI
A LITTLE ROUGH? WELL, I SUPPOSE IT CAN BE
I DON'T CARE
DID YOU PICTURE A SWEET SEMINARIAN?
A VEGETARIAN?
KIDDO, I’M NO LIBERAL—
I’M... A LIBERTARIAN!
GOD AND DEVELOPERS
YOU'RE FREE!
TO DO EXACTLY AS YOU LIKE!
YOU'RE FREE!
TO STRIKE WHATEVER POSE YOU STRIKE!
ANGELIC DEMONIC
BEAUTIFIC BUBONIC
MORE BRILLIANT MORONIC
GOD
I DON’T CARE!
DEVELOPERS
SHE DOESN’T CARE, SHE DOESN’T CARE,
SHE DOESN’T CARE!
GOD AND DEVELOPERS
YOU CAN SWIM WITH THE WHALES IN THE SALTON SEA
SHOOT UP CHINA WHITE DOWN ON AVENUE D
DANCE TO THE FLIGHT OF THE VALKYRIES
OR FLY RIGHT OFF A BALCONY
KATIE
No. This can’t be possible.
GOD
All things are possible.
KATIE
Then why not something kind?
GOD
You’re ignorance is laughable.
RALPHIE
(rising)
But what about Jesus? The Sermon on the Mount?
GOD
THERE ARE MORE SILLY MYTHS THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY COUNT
BRYCE
Well, Buddha’s not a myth, he taught a path to inner peace.
GOD
AH, THE WONDEROUS WISDOM OF THE MORBIDLY OBESE
PEARL
Then what about Gandhi? Or Martin Luther King?
GOD
The ywere just down there doin’ there thing.
DEVELOPERS
YOU’RE FREE!
TO DO WHATEVER YOU WOULD DO
YOU FREE!
NOBODY'S STOPPING YOU BUT YOU
GOD AND DEVELOPERS
WE'RE AT LIBERTY TO BE SO FREE, SO FREE, SO FREE
AND THERE’S NOTHING LIKE THE POWER OF POWER
POURING OIL FROM THE TOP OF THE TOWER
GOD
I CAN TAKE IT ALL IN
GOD AND DEVELOPERS
AS THE CYCLONES SPIN
AND THE WATERS RISE AND THE CROPS GROW THIN
YOU LOVELY SPECKS OF DUST CAN LOVE
AND FIGHT AND FUCK AND SHINE AND SHOVE
DESTROY AND DEBAUCH, IT’S HARDLY NEW
GOD
SEE, I LIKE TO WATCH... AND YOU DO, TOO
GOD AND DEVELOPERS
HORRIFIC IS TERRIFIC
AND IT'S PURELY SCIENTIFIC
IF IT'S ICKY THEN IT'S STICKY
SOMETHING YOU DISCOVER QUICKLY
GOD
THERE’S A KITTY IN THE WINDOW SO ADORABLE AND SOFT
BUT THE KITTY IN THE BOX IS THE ONE THAT GETS US OFF
DEVELOPERS
SO WE ELEVATE THE SCUM...
AND PROMOTE THE EVILDOERS
GOD
(acknowledging the audience)
MY ONLY OBLIGATION’S TO MY VIEWERS
HALO
SEE, I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE GREATEST TRIP
OH, JUST PIPE DOWN, YOU BIG-HAIR BITCH!
WAS TIPPIN’, I WAS SLIPPIN’, I WAS LOSIN’ MY GRIP
THEN I WENT TO THE YELLOW AND EVERYTHING FLIPPED
NOW I’M DONE! I’M DONE!
SEE, I WENT TO THE YELLOW AND WHO DID I SEE?
JUST THE GREATEST GENIUS IN GENIUS HISTORY!
NOW I GOT THE POWER! I GOT THE KEY!
AND JUST WAIT’LL YOU SEE WHAT HE GAVE ME
I’M DONE! I’M SO DONE!
GETTIN’ DICKED AROUND, LAUGHED AT AND LEFT OUT
LAST IN LINE WHEN THE GOOD SHIT GETS PASSED OUT
THIS UNIVERSE IS LIKE A REALLY BAD BATCH
BUT NOW WE GET TO START FROM SCRATCH!
IT’S BEEN A LONG, STRANGE BUMPY RIDE
BUT NOW I’VE GOT THE USER GUIDE
I DON’T NEED THIS! OR YOU! OR ANY OF THEM!
YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS, R.T.F.M.!!!
IT’S BEEN A BRUTAL BAKE, MORE THAN I CAN TAKE
SO I’M GIVING THIS MAGIC 8 BALL A SHAKE
LIKE A WHOLE NEW DOSE, IT’S GONNA BE GREAT
I CAN’T FUCKIN’ WAIT...
KATIE
A new big bang?!?! Is that what you’re saying?!?!
HALO
CORRECTAMUNDO! AND I KNOW HOW!
HOLD YOUR EARS, CUZ IT’S GONNA BE LOUD!
WHEN I SAY I’M DONE, I MEAN SQUARE ONE
WE’RE STARTIN’ ALL OVER! IT’S GONNA BE FUN!
RATHBONE
What have you got against the Universe?
HALO
IT CAN LICK MY LEFT BUN!
KATIE
YES, I GUESS, I BELIEVE
THERE’S SOMETHING GOING ON
IS THAT REALLY SO PARANOID?
AND YES, I CONFESS
I HAVE MY SUSPICIONS IT’S ALL GOING WRONG
IS THAT REALLY SO PARANOID?
KATIE, PEARL, BRYCE
WE’RE HERE... ON A TRIP... ON A SHIP
ON AN UNCHARTED SEA
LARGER CAST
LOOKING UP TO THE STARS TO TRY TO STEER
WHILE WE’RE TOSSED AROUND HERE
SO LOST AND SO FREE
SO WHAT IS IT GONNA BE?
(WHAT IS IT GONNA BE?)
DO WE LET IT ALL DROWN?
AND THRASH EACH OTHER ON THE WAY DOWN?
IS THERE SOMETHING MORE
THAT WE CAN FIND
SOME GREATER MIND
TO TURN THIS AROUND?
FULL CAST
IS IT REALLY A MIRACLE?
THIS RAINBOW OF LIGHT
THESE COLORS WE’RE GIVEN
THIS LAND OF THE LIVING
THIS LOST PARADISE
IS IT REALLY SO CRAZY
TO SOMEHOW BELIEVE
IT COULD ALL BE SO DIFFERENT
(THESE COLORS WE'RE GIVEN)
AND WE’RE CRAZY NOT TO SEE?
SEE, SEE, SEE
THE UNSEEN WORLD
PEARL
AND THERE’S PLENTY HERE TO GO AROUND
FULL CAST
THE UNSEEN WORLD
KATIE
WE CAN TURN THIS LEAKY SHIP AROUND
FULL CAST
THE UNSEEN WORLD
CAN YOU SEE IT? CAN YOU SEE IT?
DO YOU BELIEVE?
PEARL
CAN YOU CLAP YOUR HANDS AND SING?
FULL CAST
YES, I BELIEVE
YES, I BELIEVE
YES, I BELIEVE
YES, I BELIEVE
KATIE
YES, I GUESS, I BELIEVE.